anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The beer is more important than you right now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
