I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
