addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
