You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The beer is more important than you right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
