Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
