I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
