i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
