she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
