On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
