Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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