Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
