Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I party with great urgency now.
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