Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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