Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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