Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
