He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
pray to the hookup gods
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
