Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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