I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
