Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
