I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
