whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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