Do you still have your period?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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