Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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