chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize