There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
