i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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