i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
