i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This house was built for laser tag.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
