drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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