addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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