Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
