Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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