sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
