hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
