Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
