my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
