i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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