I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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