ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
