U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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