I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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