My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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