I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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