Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
