Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Mom said you looked used
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
