Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
