Fine. I'll sleep in my office
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
