he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize