there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
