That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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