I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think a kid would responsible me up
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
