I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
