just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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