Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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