my being single is dangerous.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize