So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Randomize
