you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
