i wish my penis had a tongue
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize