fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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