stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
