Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
