I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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