We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
