Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i now understand why vodka
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
