so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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